Get disgusted for fast results.
I've been doing some thinking about my performance this week and relating it back through my 5+ years of trading. Specifically about the way I relate to risk, how I deal with taking the risks and the way this has changed during this period. This may well turn into a very random ramble, but a few things have occured to me and I just wanted to get them onto the blog, hopefully it will be of some interest, if only to myself.
Let's start with this week. I got off to a great start, my first match I racked up a fairly nice win by anyone's standards. It was the perfect match and the perfect start to the French Open fortnight. But since that moment until yesterday lunchtime things took a downward turn, I jumped into positions without thought, my mind was scrambled with the myriad of options available to me and I quite literally lumped on anything that vaguely resembled a tennis player with a good price and an easy to remember name. Note here that I was aparently uncaring about the level of risk I was taking, these weren't small bets, yet I treated them as if they were nothing and unimportant. It sends shivers down my spine writing about it, but at the time - there was not a care in the world. As a professional, it's a pretty disgusting state of affairs.
Rewind back 5 1/2 years. I had £75 to my name. All that mattered to me was not losing. Not losing ANYTHING, let alone the £75. Every trade was placed with the sole intention of minimising risk and downside. I would sweat over each £1 I made. Looking back I admire the way I was, in some ways I was a superb trader without much knowledge, but all the determination and speed. My bank grew quickly, but I would maintain my feelings towards risk for quite some time.
Clearly you can't really compare myself then to now in a perfect sense, I had little money then and these days I have a much larger amount to my name and this brings new challenges and methods for trading in such size. But, there's some things that I need to get back that I've lost along the way. The main one being a repulsion towards trading badly and losing.
This sounds a rather strong feeling to have - repulsion.. Fear of losing money was also present, but mainly it's a feeling of disgust towards not so much losing, but doing things wrongly - which usually results in losses.
Back to yesterday lunchtime. I was pretty fed up, it's the French Open - a Grand Slam event and one of the best trading events of the year. I was down, being particularly stupid (even by my standards) and then I realised how foolish I had been and quite frankly, it disgusted me. I was angry. I put down a mental marker at that moment (polite term for slamming my desk and shouting loud enough for the neighbours to hear) that I would do things rightly for the rest of the day at the very least - if I lost, I lost, but I would be right with everything I did.
And it has just struck me how powerful this feeling can be. I often say to myself - get angry with it, stop being an idiot and lets do things properly. But I do believe the feeling of revulsion or disgust at what you've become, might become or been doing, is a more powerful thing, and can stick with you longer. Maybe better than this, is the almost instantaneous effect it can have on you and your bad habits.
Next time you realise you've been a tosser, get disgusted! I'm now ahead for the tournament after a series of wins from that moment, it's no coincidence - I started doing many things differently almost straight away. Things I should be doing all the time anyway.












For a while now I've felt Roddick was looking trimmer on court. I can't remember where it was when I first noticed it, but in my opinion he's looked leaner than he has for a while. ...But not quite this lean! Just how small does his head look compared to his chest and arms ?! 'Andy... suck your stomach right in.. and tilt your head back a bit, we'll edit out the double chin and enlarge the rest...' You can find the full article